Already got asked if we're dating
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
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