I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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