Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
