everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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