At least make sure they are 18
Why
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize