Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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