So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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