He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
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