dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
