If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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