there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
your address is 607B right?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.