he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.