I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.