You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
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In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
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can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.