i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
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You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
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It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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