roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.