You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago