Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head