dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC