we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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