i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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