I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
