I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
