He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
