I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
