He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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