saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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