I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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