is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
