...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
