you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize