Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
