the new term for farting is butt boxing.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
