My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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