So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
