From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
