I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize