It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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