did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
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If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
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Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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