Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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