I can feel you judging me through the phone.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
