The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
