Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
