I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize