dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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