She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
