I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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