Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
