I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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