Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
