i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
