I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize