I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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