We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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