There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
