***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
