I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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