She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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