is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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