Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I am naked and annoyed.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
