I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
