Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
