"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
