I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Randomize
